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Two years on....

 

So...... it has been just over 2 years since my first and only blog post. Between December 2014 toMay 2016 Rumer andI battled hand in hand in the Brisbane hospital, every single day was heartbreaking and such a challenge for both of us. The hospital treated her very aggressive cancer with equally aggressive treatments, treatments that are used for adult cancer, not for a 2 year old  child. Chemotherapy - which basically the doctor said was heavy metal poisoning, radiation, major surgery, bone marrow transplant.Rumer had that many anaesthics that I lost count. One of the hardest things you have to do as a parent is put your baby to sleep day in and day out for moths on end. The chemo actually worked for the first 12 months and I had hope that she would survive, the tumour shrank to about 50% of it's original size, but by then her body was so damaged by the chemo that she would just get virus after virus and end up in ICU for weeks at a time on a life support machine. Eventually the cancer spread, and the doctors called me in to ask whatI want to do now? My options were to take her home and love her, or to try different and more aggressive treatmen? What a decision for a parent to have to make. Rumer hated that hospital and always cried when I had to take her back in, she would often beg me with tears in her eyes "please mummy, no more!" I asked the doctors how long would she have if I just took her home? They said she should have weeks, maybe even months. So that's what I did.... And 4 days after I took her home she passed away on Mother's Day last year. 

We were sleeping together, as we did every single night, and I woke up about 3:50am I just knew something wasn't right. Rumer was breathing very shallow, and had been motionless and speechless over the 4 days that we were home from all the morphine that she was given. I  asked her if she was OK? She said "I want to sit up" so I helped her frail little body sit up, but she was too weak so she fell down again. Then suddenly her eyes flew wide open and she looked at me and grabbed my shirt and yelled "Mummy!"She looked so scared right then. I held her hand and started singing her special baby song.....   hush little baby don't you cry, mamma's gonna sing you a lullabye.... By the timeI had finished her song she had stopped breathing....

Every day since that day it has been a srtuggle to live, the pain is constant and overwhelming. After several failed suicide attempts I have given up trying to die. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life is to keep living after Rumer died. It's just wrong to still be living, it goes against the nature of everything. 

Chanel 7 News Interview on being a WAHM

Founder of My Gypsy Child Sacha Maujean speaks candidly with Chanel 7 News on being a work at home Mum and developing her own organic baby skincare range.  

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Chemicals & toxins our children are exposed to

This article appeared in the recent Cairns Parenting Companion Magazine.

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Australian Made & Owned 100% Recyclable Packaging Not Tested on Animals Certified Organic Ingredients No Palm Oil No Nasty Chemicals